Who let the Chef out the kitchen?
The Red Koolaid
Imagine finding yourself in a space of 5,455 football fields of pine forest, valleys, waterfalls, and the earth’s End Zones of Bull’s Point overlooking the vast greenery of Madre Tierra below. Eyes dilated, dopamine in veins, oxygen from its source and all your brain can vocalize is a prolonged ‘wow’. This is Hidden Valley and I am Chef Sean Kuylen and my favorite cocktail served is the proverbial Red Koolaid – the mystical concoction that, once consumed, stimulates all the senses transforming you to a magical & euphoric state of being. It is not on the menu and experienced when you least expect it. Guests have reported sightings, but like the mythical Alux in Maya folklore, there has never been footage or images to concretely know when it will hit you. What I do know is that the juice usually has its effects at King Vulture, Tiger Creek Pools, Butterfly falls but most guests confirm that the magic is most likely to be experienced at our Rum Bar, Slate, Cocina our culinary classroom, Sap and at the pibil pit during our full moon Maya H’emen experience.
Pon the Right Moon
In Maya mythology, everything has its timing and most of it has to do with the alignment of the universe. A time to plant, a time to harvest and even a time for sacrifice! Join me on an adventure that aligns the stars and the sun with the mountain, the waterfalls and even the moon illuminating the white sprays of water in sync to the thunderous roar heard and felt.
Goma Shot & Salpicon
A Hidden Valley Gud Maanin! From experience, these mornings are either a blanket of morning fog, or the sound of the Chachalaca and the chlorophyll infused brilliance of green tiger ferns, pine trees and deep terra cotta clay dirt. Order the Pirix paak, a goma shot and a jungle spiced latte and join me on a stimulating adrenalin pumping and immersive tour of the property.
First of all, I da the chef, not a tour guide so the mere fact that you are on this journey with me is illegal but oh so fucking worth it!
It’s now 6:42am and I wipe off the overnight mist and dew off the seats of the Polaris and strap on my seatbelt. The first stop is Tiger Creek Lookout. We pass Archer’s Landing and I always queue and listen to the roar of the gravity-fed culvert at Lake Lolly Folly. If we turn left here, I have a beautiful Deer friend I named Salpicon that only shows up at precisely 5:20pm daily. To see her, take the Trail Hike from the lodge and walk carefully and you may see her feeding in the open field of coffee plants. You will never see her from a vehicle, as she is so sensitive to sound!
Up the hill to the right from Lolly Folly, there are two view points to the magnificent Tiger Creek Falls. I prefer the lookout as it’s the closest point to ‘touching’ and feeling the enormity of the falls. Take your pictures and take note of the drop off immediately below your feet. At the next stop you will see why!
Roar of the Jaguar
Fun fact: this is the path where I spotted a mature Puma. It was a full moon evening, a whole new experience to ‘seeing’ the waterfalls at night! So yes, know that they are around and that they are watching us!
Next stop, Tiger Creek Falls (across from the lookout). Most tour guides will take you to this point from the Awat Balam road, but today I want you to follow me up stream. We will walk across wooden bridges built by our Rangers, follow the gentle flowing water and gradually watch the stream accelerate. Listen up ahead as she turns into a roar – we are on top of Tiger Creek Falls.
Feeling adventurous, step on the large rock at the apex of the falls and take your selfies there. By this time, it is 10am and the sun is now around 55 degrees above the horizon illuminating the first view point we were at earlier. Spot the lookout? Now look below where your feet stood. Remember I told you to take note? Isn’t that incredible?
Quickly, let me take a picture for you. I wish we could stay longer, but it’s time to go, I think I hear Marvin, and the other real tour guides coming.
Next stop, the White Jankro.
White Jankro
Welcome to King Vulture falls. Don’t tell the managers, but last year I set up my tent here on New Years Eve. Now this is NOT open to guests or the public or even recommended, which is why it was so memorable! Sleeping to the sound of the water falling, a feature that you probably had to download on an app to experience. I had my morning coffee with my French Press here and manifested my intentions for the new year just as the vultures woke up. They flew in single file, around 18 abreast toward me with the sun breaking over those very mountains you see, which means we are now facing East. Note that sunrise here will take a whole 24 minutes longer than what your phone app suggests. The Half Moon Caye Atoll and the Belize Barrier Reef will be the first to see sunrise in Belize, but at King Vulture, we add the altitude, soundtrack, light fog and crisp air to the experience. I like this fall so much that I named a drink after it at the rum bar. Ask for it tonight!
Butta Makes it Betta
Lets keep moving man, no time to lamp up. Jump in the atv and let the wind continue to stimulate the euphoria released all within a couple minutes from our Morning Fog Cafe at the lodge! The next stop is a must see and the absolute most popular site at Hidden Valley, Butterfly Falls. Chef’s tip. Do this hike at 4pm when Marvin and Vian have left. It is almost guaranteed that you will be the only one there at that time of day. The sun is winding down now and our birds are looking for their homes. This time of day, I was with a friend and spotted a family of coatimundi on this trail. The 20 minute hike is the perfect time to immerse yourself in nature, but if you want a longer hike, start from the Devil’s Falls which will merge here at this wooden bridge. Hey, speaking of which, the picture on the wall at the cafe depicts a jaguar on this very wooden bridge. Told you, they are watching!
Lessgo, hurry up before it gets dark. Check out Hidden Pool and enjoy the picnic table here, but don’t sit for too long because the Mother of all waterfalls sits behind this very spot. As we wind down the edge of this mountain, this is where I always take the lead, take out my phone and record my friends as they come down the pathway. Here is where pipl usually get silly and where their vocabulary and emotional intelligence dissolves and humbled and where 100% of every human will open their mouth in awe and simply say ‘WOW’. That is it, all the time, guaranteed, bar none!
Go on, soak it up with the knowledge that the website could never capture what you are seeing. Take off your shoes, jump in. know that at this time of day, no one else will be joining us.
Sundowner
It’s now 5:38pm, time to hike out back. I have one last choreographed surprise for you. To me, this is like the candied papaya on the maja blanca dessert and the literal Sundowner moment, yes pun intended 🥃
At precisely 6:07pm, I turn down this un-beaten path that the other guides never take. Don’t let them know, but this is a back entrance to Bull’s Point. The End Zone to all 5,455 plus football fields of space we covered today. I will give you a cue of when to take out your phone, activate the video feature and just record. You will turn to the right….. Wait for it, wait for it…..
There: Sunset at Bulls Point. As Chef, I came prepared. In my ice box is your peppermint scented cold towel and ice cold Belikin Stouts, my fav. Take your time and watch as the Sun disappears over the neighboring Guatemala.
Incredible right? It isn’t over yet. Let’s get you back to your room for a quick shower and see you at Slate and Sap. Dinner starts in 20 minutes… and if the universe is right, we may even have a pibil and h’men ceremony!
Once the sun, moon & stars align…
